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HELLO

hello

I'm Serena Lang.

But first, let's talk about you for a second.

 

If I know you (and since you’re here maybe I already do, a little), then you’ve ended up in this little corner of the internet because you’re entirely too responsible and sensible in your day-to-day and you're looking for something (or more accurately someone) to add a little je ne sais quoi, a zest, a spice to your day, your evening, your life.


Well, let me be the first to say: congrats! You’ve found her. Smart man - I knew I liked you.

(Not only handsome and brilliant, but also with impeccable taste!)

 

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A man I met once said I had "a body that could stop traffic". Another said I had "one of those pin-up girl faces". Given these physical attributes, probability dictates it's unlikely that I'd also be whip-smart /and/ funny to boot, but sometimes, as I'm sure you've found in your own life, chaos theory applies. Call us strange attractors.

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A late bloomer, I was forced in my deeply awkward teenage years to develop both an incredible sense of humour and a scintillating personality to go alongside my straight-A school record so that my classmates wouldn't bully me overmuch. Aged approximately 23, like a geeky butterfly emerging from a nerdy chrysalis, I finally bloomed, and am now at 30 the total package: brains, beauty, personality, charm, and wit. 

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Basically: if you're a sucker for devastatingly sexy blondes with pretty faces, razor-sharp intellect and a cracking sense of humour, you're in absolutely the right place. 

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More about me, the real and complete human being on the other side of your screen. I am:

 

  • Not American, but I love it here in all its charming, polarizing weirdness 

  • An early investor in crypto, but unfortunately also one of those people who bought a pizza or something else equally stupid for 10000 Bitcoins in 2012

  • Always deeply committed to the bit, whatever the bit may be (I stan Larry David)

  • A speaker of four languages and, more importantly, able to order a beer in seven

  • An inveterate Oxford comma user

  • Equally comfortable eating street noodles on a plastic chair in Bangkok as at a three star in NYC

  • Unpretentious and down to earth but with finishing-school poise and manners

  • Someone who laughs easily and often

  • A bad liar and a fantastic kisser


In life I reject the fake, the dishonest, and the insincere. I have no constructed persona, no script. You'll find me exactly as I claim to be: warm; open; funny; intelligent; empathetic; and, most of all, real. (And yes, I do look like my pictures.)

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If you have a cynical heart - and in times as interesting as these, I honestly don’t blame you - prepare to have it melted. 

 

So - here's to us. Here's to our adventure. Are you in?

xo,
Serena.

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in the rain-
darkness, the sunset
being sheathed i sit
   and

THINK OF YOU
e e cummings

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in BRIEF

AGE  early 30s, with a youthful face always breaking into a smile

EDUCATION  undergrad, master's, half a phD, all at top 10 schools in Europe with scholarships

LANGUAGES  5 (3 fluent, 2 conversational)

HEIGHT  5'4

MEASUREMENTS 34F-28-38, toned natural hourglass

HAIR  light ash blonde, to mid-back

EYES  blue-green

ORIENTATION  enthusiastically and actually bisexual
PIERCINGS  earlobes only

TATTOOS, ENHANCEMENTS, FILLER  none

DEMEANOUR  laid-back, kind, sweet and friendly, with a wicked sense of humour and a dirty laugh 

my FAVOURITE

PLACE  abroad: rome, tokyo;

domestically: nyc, sausalito

NIGHT OUT speakeasy-hopping in hong kong

HOBBIES furniture restoration; reading novels while eating crunchy snacks; biking; learning new languages; hiking the back country 

ALBUM rumours - fleetwood mac

ARTISTS david hockney

FILM in the mood for love - wong kar wai

WINE domaine vacheron sancerre "l'enclos des remparts"

SPIRIT hendricks' gin

COCKTAIL extra dirty gin martini with olives 

SNACK  edamame; salt & vinegar crisps; dark chocolate with raspberry 

DESIGNER valentino, chanel

SCENT dior j'adore or le labo rose 31 by by day, chanel noir by night

LINGERIE studio pia, bordelle

ANIMAL  cats​

you only LIVE ONCE, but if you do it right, ONCE IS ENOUGH.
mae west

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blonde curvy VIP high end GFE Austin NYC escort 

All text and images © 2023 by Serena Lang
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